It all started when my friend approached me and asked if I would like to be a part of the coming in-campus crusade entitled “The Promise”. She said the team prayed about it, and i have been chosen to be the official appeal singer for the next two weeks.
It only took me a few minutes to accept the invitation. First of all, i love singing. Second, appeal singing is an opportunity i cant afford to miss. it has a deeper meaning than any other kind of music.
i kept the news a secret until the first Monday started. I wasn’t quite sure if the song He Will Carry You fit well with the Pastor’s topic. At first, I told myself “Bahala na”. But as i listened closely to the message, the words struck through and I realized the song fit perfectly. I believe God made that piece to shine out so i would choose it, because He knows it would aid the message in reaching out to the people. The service was great, but i skipped the evaluation meeting and headed home because of certain things to take care of.
Unfortunately, i discovered a few days before the opening night of the crusade, that it was happening the same time as my thesis defense. The event was scheduled for Thursday morning, yet I still had quite to go.
My biggest enemy was sleep. I needed sleep for my voice to be in shape, yet sleeping hindered me from getting my thesis done in time. My faith was really getting tested, because I put my full trust in God that He would use my voice for His glory no matter how much sleep i lacked. And for the record, with only 4 hours of sleep every night, my singing never cracked – not even once. I praise the Lord for that. 
I told one my friends the situation i was going through that time. I mean, the honest situation. That I was having a hard time doing my thesis and attending the nightly meetings on the same week. But as we talked, she helped me realize that coming to the crusade was good for me in various ways. Not only did it allow me to serve the Almighty King of the Universe, it served as a break for me to get my mind off my thesis for a while, sort of like a break, relaxation period. And believe me, singing for the Lord gives you a calm heart and peace of mind like no other. It also proves that you can never be too busy to spend time with God, especially if He has taken over your heart.
Tuesday night came. I was distressed to discover i had no pianist. Thank God for guitars! A good friend of mine offered to accompany me to the song We Shall Behold Him, although it was a bit last minute. And I believe the Holy Spirit did His work just like He always does.
Wednesday was the main reason God gave me the idea to write this blog. I was prepared to sing No More Night, a common favorite. I figured that I would have enough time to practice with the pianist, so i became over confident that all would go well. The first two nights were good, what could stop me on the third night? I was on a roll!
At 6:30pm, we went to the music building to practice. What i didn’t know was that a program was going on and would last until 7pm. My pianist said we could practice once their done. It’s an easy piece for him anyway.
So we stayed and watched the program (he also had to accompany someone), and waited. It ended on time but there were announcements for music majors afterwards, and it felt like it was taking forever. I was getting anxious and uneasy, because i haven’t vocalized or anything, and we haven’t practiced, not even a single note. And to top my misfortune, I realized I didn’t bring my notebook! I’ve always had a notebook so I say the lyrics clearly and correctly. Now i had to rely on my unstable memory.
The announcements continued as the 7pm school bell rang loud and clear. “Oh no!” I thought to myself. No more time for practice, service will start now!
We hurriedly made our way to the church. I stayed back stage for practice, vocalization, and for calming down my nerves. This is what i get for taking such a beautiful song for granted. I didn’t make ANY preparations for it at all! Good thing the pianist has perfect pitch, and so I asked the song to be played in the key of A-flat.
I also talked to the technical people in charge of the slides. It’s a good thing that they type down the lyrics for the audience to read the words of the singer. I asked them if they could show the lyrics on the screen in front of the stage, so i could read it as well (because if you’re on stage the screen is behind you so they put a tv screen in front of the stage for the participants to see). They assured me that they will project the lyrics on the front screen, so i calmed down a bit. I just need to warm up my vocal muscles and i’m good!
The last few slides showed; the Pastor was wrapping up his message; and i was called on stage once again. I see the crowd looking towards my direction, and i see the monitor in front. The piano starts to play the introduction, and i start with the first stanza:
“The timeless theme, earth and heaven will pass away, the……………………..”
oh no! i forgot the lyrics! my mind went blank! i look at the screen, but all i see is my face! no words! i try my best to keep a smiling face as if nothing wrong happened, but nothing clear came out of my mouth. i mumbled the next sentenced. I was freaking out under the smile i showed. Then, i heard the Pastor whispering the next part of the lyrics for me. He was standing right beside me, and he was telling me the words that came next. I relied on him, and i don’t think a thank you would be enough for his help. But at the same time i felt completely embarrassed! I’m the appeal singer, it’s my job to sing and know the words! But I messed up, and I failed to do my work. The worse part was, its a common song, and so majority know it. They know i’ve messed up. so much for taking the song for granted.
I sang my heart out one more when it came to the chorus. I knew that part very well, along with the 2nd verse. The Pastor then realized that i was back on track, and he stopped humming and resumed to listening to me intently.
The bridge of the song was nearing. Oh no! I forgot the lyrics again! I said to myself, i don’t care if people laugh, but i’m not gonna say made up lyrics again. So i literally turned around and looked at the big screen behind me to see what the next words were. I remembered it after a glimpse, and i faced the audience once again.
Luckily, i finished the song. The Pastor gave his nightly appeal, and ended with a prayer. What no one knows is, i cried while he prayed. I felt so humiliated and embarrassed and unworthy; i just wanted to run away from everyone. But i wiped my tears away before the Amen, and i walked down the stage with my head low.
I went to technical people. I wanted to ask them why they didn’t flash the lyrics on the front screen. Unfortunately they noticed i messed up, and they were not aware that the lyrics were not on the front screen. I felt frustrated. I told them next time I’ll make sure i wont forget my notebook. I then bid them good night.
Along my way out the door, several people came up to me and said that was a beautiful song, that they were blessed, and other comments. I just smile, and continue walking. I also received text messages concerning the same thing. I didn’t reply though; i didn’t know what to say. I messed up, did they not hear it?
I ran in my empty room and started crying on my room mate’s bed. That was the time I heard God talking to me. I discovered that only the crusade team noticed that i messed up. but everyone else? No one knew i mumbled, that i made a mistake. They heard everything clearly. (I asked some of my friends if they noticed. They didn’t) I then cried even harder, because I have just experienced God’s amazing power. Although i messed up, He turned the situation around and turned it into something beautiful. He covered my fault and blessed the people through His grace. The Holy Spirit filled their hearts with His glory, and I can only imagine they felt His presence close by at that time.
What an amazing God! Using a wretched sinner like me. I am not worthy of any praise, may it all be to the Lord above. I will never underestimate the power of Jesus again.
Now I understand why Pastor Randy Skeet always leaves the building immediately after preaching sermons. They are very influential indeed. I believe he leaves right away so that he wont hear the comments of the audience. He doesn’t want to entertain any form of praise, because the praise should only be to God. He’s avoiding the slightest chance of entertaining self-uplifting thoughts. When people come up to me after i sing to comment about my voice or to say i did a good job, i cant help but to think good of myself and think “wow, people like ME.” But the thing is, it’s not me, it’s God. I should not claim any credit for myself, but it’s really hard. I have been receiving comments all my life, and maybe i’m so full of myself these days. But after that Wednesday, i know that i’ll have to copy Pastor Skeet and run away for a while right after i sing. It’s to avoid self conceitedness and to stay connected with God. I don’t want to rob his worthiness.
On Thursday, my cousin played the guitar for me. While choosing what song to perform that morning, he was telling me about how he met a guy earlier that day and they were talking about struggling to give God your everything. One thing about ministry, you can’t convert the whole audience at once, but you’re planting seeds. And so we chose a song that we believed would help my cousin’s friend make a very important decision, “Here’s My Life”.
I fully practiced and wrote down the lyrics. I wasn’t going to make another mistake this time. I went early to church,and we practiced behind the building.
We sat outside at the back in the cool breeze and listened to the sermon while waiting for our turn. He then told me something important: to live the words i speak. Don’t just beautify the song with techniques; the song itself will be wonderful if you really mean what you say.
He’s right. How can i sing Here’s My Life when I myself haven’t given my all to God? I may know techniques on how to make it sound good, but God listens to our hearts. How can i convince that one person to make that important decision if I have not convinced myself?
For the rest of the waiting period, i really concentrated on internalizing the lyrics. I wanted it to be real, even in my life.
The next day was unfortunately my last day, because I had to leave for internship. The song to be sung was “The Savior Is Waiting”. I had a different pianist, so I was eager to practice. But unfortunately we never got the chance to. That’s when my faith was being tested once more.
I did the necessary preparations – vocalizing, massaging my face, writing down the lyrics. But i had no idea what the intro was going to sound like. I kept praying that God would help me. But I was also reassured that it was going to go smoothly. Why should I fear when my pianist is Ma’am Heidi Cerna? It was both a privilege and honor to work with her.
I was literally shaking while walking to the microphone on stage. I had to put my full trust in her and in God. Once she started pressing those keys, the room was filled with awe, and I knew everything would be alright.
We all might not get the opportunity to sing an appeal song, but we all have the capabilities of influencing people to accept victory’s appeal. We may not know it, but our smile might be appealing to the lost soul to come back to Christ. The delicious meal that we unselfishly shared with an acquaintance can tell them that Jesus loves them.
Let us all invite and appeal one another in our own simple ways to come on the side of the Victorious King of Heaven. The Savior is waiting to enter your heart. Why don’t you let Him come in?
(images by google)
We’re born into a world filled with the irritating “fleas” of sin. When we’re infected by sin, it becomes a distracting and irritating influence about which we can do nothing. Try as we might, no matter how hard we scratch or fight, we’re unable to rid ourselves of our condition! And we would surely be consumed if not for compassionate outside intervention.
